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17 May 2018

My struggle with calling myself a blogger

Euriental | luxury travel & style | Oui London dress, Hermes bag, H&M shoes in King's Cross LondonEuriental | luxury travel & style | Oui London dress, Hermes bag, H&M shoes in King's Cross London

Euriental | luxury travel & style | Oui London dress, Hermes bag, H&M shoes in King's Cross London
Euriental | luxury travel & style | Oui London dress, Hermes bag, H&M shoes in King's Cross London

There I was, the other week, at a friend's birthday when the subject of blogging came up. "Oh that's right, you actually blog professionally, don't you?" her mother asked me in genuine interest. "Well," I started blabbering. "I mean, yeah, I do blog, I'm not huge or anything, I guess I do it 'professionally'..."

I air quoted myself. I undermined my own work. Why did I feel the need to do this? Jarv tells me off for doing it all the time. I used to act the same way back when I was hair modelling. I half expected people to cock an eyebrow when I said I modelled. I'm not tall enough, I'm not beautiful enough, I'm not slim enough. But companies still paid me money to do it.

I struggle with telling people I blog. Not just telling them I blog for fun or as a pastime, but that I monetise my blog and Instagram, and even sell Instagram-related products. It's weird, because I obviously take it seriously when it comes to negotiating with brands, getting work done on time and generally being professional, yet the minute someone outside of this industry asks me about it, I retreat, or babble, or dismiss.

First, there's the assumption that they might instantly greet me with a barely suppressed eye roll. Oh. Another one of those. I felt so uncomfortable at times that I would even start to add my own jab at bloggers before the person innocently asking what I did could get one in (not that they were ever going to) - "Yeah, I know, everyone's a blogger!"

Then there's the fear of inadequacy. 

What if they check out my Instagram account and are surprised/disappointed/sceptical when they see I'm not at 100k followers?

Just because I know my content has value and takes time to create doesn't mean they'll see that.

It's not like I'm working a typical 9 - 5 in an office, they probably think I just occasionally take a pic, upload it and call that 'work' for the day. 

I take every job I get seriously, whether it's small or large, one Instagram photo or an entire dedicated write up. Yet when it comes to talking about it, my tendency is to brush it all aside.

Imposter syndrome is alive and kicking, guys. We (almost) all suffer it. I know bloggers that, at 200k IG followers, still feel embarrassed to answer 'blogging' when asked what they do. Most of us feel this way at some point or another, regardless of how successful we're perceived to be. It doesn't help that bloggers are often looked upon as a joke, as a nuisance, as wannabes. 

Yes, there will be people who will judge you. People who will scoff, whether behind your back or to your face. It's not your job to please them. It's not even your job to care what they think. We work hard at what we do, that alone is worth being proud of.

I just need to take my own advice. 😄

Whatever your profession - do you ever struggle with these feelings too?

17 comments :

  1. I absolutely love this post Kamara and can completely relate. It's lovely to see genuinely positive reactions from people, though also definitely hold back from telling people I blog! It's ridiculous really as there are so, so many success stories now for this field of work - on both big and small scales. We'll work on getting over this one together babe, haha ;) Hope you're having a fabulous weekend!

    aglassofice.com x

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    1. I agree! You never quite know which way it might go sometimes in terms of people's reactions haha. It is ridiculous, unfortunately there is still a stigma attached and there probably will be fore quite some time now. Oh well, we'll just push through ;) Thanks, darling!

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  2. Fabulous post, and I totally understand. I dont struggle with telling others i am a blogger, but struggle with monetizing my blog....that is the most frustrating part and Ive been doing it for almost 4 years!

    Thanks for sharing!

    VAlerie

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    1. I get where you're coming from! It can be a struggle, from one collab to the next. Thanks for sharing, too!

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  3. I definitely struggle with imposter syndrome as well! Even though I make a pretty good income from my blog, I worry that others won't see the value in what I'm doing. That being said, I've definitely gained more confidence over the years as I've become more successful and realized my worth!

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    1. I think most of us do! I'm glad to hear your confidence has grown - I guess that may come with time and experience for many of us. Thanks for sharing your experience!

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  4. I hate telling people I'm a blogger. Maybe I should just start saying I "run a website." lol

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    1. Hahaha I do this sometimes - "my site Euriental..."

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  5. Yes to all of this! I’m still super new to this but I’m starting to get the questions from people like “what exactly are you doing with your Instagram” and etc etc. the thing is I love it and am passionate about it and I know the benefits whether they agree or care to agree. Thanks for a real post!

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    1. Exactly, so good for you! Who cares as long as you are happy and enjoying it. Thanks for sharing!

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  6. I get this a lot! My friends mention my blog and I go all bashful and change the subject - but I am super proud of my blog!

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    1. Isn't it weird?! If only they saw all the work that we put into it maybe we wouldn't feel so awkward haha.

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  7. I can totally relate! Whether or not it's true, I feel that others see bloggers as imposters or wannabes that just got lucky... but it's such a time consuming and never ending job. And those who make money at it are ROCKSTARS because it's so much harder than one might think!

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    1. Yep I agree, I feel like a lot of people just roll their eyes at the term in general. And you're right, it absolutely isn't an easy career path!

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  8. The first paragraph reminded me of many incidents where I felt the same. In my case, it's because 90% of the people in my area doesn't even know what it actually is. 50% haven't even heard of the work Blogging/Blogger. To them, it's just clicking fashion pictures with a DSLR and uploading it on social media. When people of unaware of something, it's really hard to make them understand that it could seriously be taken up as a full-time job and I get paid for what I do!

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    1. I agree, it's mostly a lack of understanding of what goes into it. It's time-consuming...but worth it! And just because it's fun, doesn't mean it isn't still work.

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